The Doctor

I once had a minor case of African flu
So I sent for a doctor who would know what to do
A stranger came to see me and he said he had the cure
But he had no credentials so I wasn’t too sure
He claimed he was a doctor and he knew how to fly!
But no one believed him until he took to the sky
He flew up and down for everybody to see
And that’s how he proved he was a doctor to me

Oh, the doctor who knew how to fly!
Every one of his patients somehow managed to die!
I’m sure a lot of people would have seen through his lie
If they weren’t so impressed because the doctor could fly!

He poked and he prodded me with pieces of straw
He depressed my tongue, and then he made me say “aah!”
He took my pulse, and then my temperature
He looked at it once and then again to be sure
He said I was only sixty-six degrees
And I needed some heat or else my blood would freeze
He reached in his bag, and then he drew forth a pill
He said if this one doesn’t do it then another one … might!

Oh, the doctor…

I woke up feeling twice as bad the next day
“Relax!” he said, “that means it’s going away!
I’ll give you this pill, do you want purple or green?
They’re all from the same supermarket vending machine!”

Oh, the doctor…

Of course there’s a moral, as you may have guessed
Every claim must be put to a legitimate test
Remember this when someone tries to prove theirs to you
The flying man who couldn’t cure a case of the flu

Oh, the doctor who knew how to fly!
Every one of his patients somehow managed to die!
Remember this when someone tries to throw you a line
It doesn’t really matter if he knows how to fly!